ROAD TO BEIJING TOUR

“I adore Jonathan Van Ness, he’s so fluffy, so I was super thrilled to see his show”

A review by Sammy Scribes

Let’s get the gripes and niggles out of the way so that I can focus on the uber fabulous Jonathan Van Ness. The Hammersmith Apollo venue is such a let down, as it’s not that easy to get too if you don’t live locally and it is a bit jaded in comparison to London theatres.

The logistics of running two shows back to back on a Friday was not the best idea as the doors did not open until 20:30 to let the previous audience out. The show did not start until an hour later, after the meet and greet sessions, so there was a lot of milling about Hammersmith until show time.

The show lasted for an hour and a half which meant a mad dash at 23:00 to get the last train home. The merchandise was quite pricey, with it costing £30 for just a t-shirt and £40 for a crop top. As much as I would love Jonathan Van Ness‘s head across my chest I don’t get paid til the end of the month.

Now to the Road To Beijing show which I really enjoyed as it was so good. Jonathon is hilarious and engaging and I really want him to be my best friend for ever and ever, as I’m sure many people feel the same. Whilst the show is very much the JVN show he also showcases two American comedians, his very good friends Kyle June Williams and Maawan Rizwan.

I enjoyed the comedienne Kyle, who looked like a cross between Neri and Nicky from Orange is the New Black, which is a great look to rock. I liked the art gallery and the bra fitting anecdotes she told, and her decision to come out publicly on stage really moved the audience.

Back to the beautiful and athletically talented Jonathan, who came out to perform a gymnastics sequence which was just mesmerising, and his back flips were so perfectly executed. He performed a small set before introduced his next act of the evening Maawan.

Walking on stage in a neon green top and a leopard print tracksuit, the man knows how to make an entrance, I loved his outfit. The leopard print tracksuit was so on point and my daughter whispered to me, “I’m sure you have the same clothes in your wardrobe”. I do! He made me laugh so much my teeth ached.

His long-suffering boyfriend who is forever telling him I might be a therapist but I’m not yours, I’m your boyfriend, and the medical advice he got for all the slutdrops he does at parties was comic genius. Or as Maawan says “Why do we call it a slut drop? I think we should call it a sex positive descent. It’s 2019!”

Back to Jonathan now resplendent in a floaty skirt and gold knee lengthy Chanel boots. So classy and ever so jealous inducing, but if I’m honest my little chubby calves would never squeeze into them anyway. He talks about how he has never been on time for a thing in his life, and how much it pushes Bobby over the edge, and comparing the election of Donald Trump to a skating competition, with video proof to back this up.

I did enjoy the show, but I kept thinking there was something missing and then it came to me! The other 4 guys, how wonderful would it be if Queer Eye went on tour and gave masterclasses on fashion, hair & make up, cooking, healthy living and wellbeing. I would be there everyday… until I would be inevitably forcibly removed by security.

Thank you to Jonathan and the guest comedians, you made my Friday night with the Road To Beijing Tour, and yes I caught the last train home.